2.5 hours of hot yoga at Sunstone today...yep...crazy!
But if you think that is amazing and impressive, wait till you here this...
So I'm about 1.5 hours into this crazy 2.5 hour adventure, laying stretched out on my tummy, right ear to the floor, and taking a nice deep breath to calm the heart rate...when I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And suddenly I say to myself, gazing directly into my own eyes, "you are so beautiful and so strong; so beautiful; so strong. I really love you." Now it wasn't that I was doing some awesomely difficult pose, nor was I actually admiring my physical looks or strength. I bet you're thinking, "whew! I thought she just turned into the Narcissist Pixie." No, it was my inner beauty and my inner strength that was suddenly staring right back at me.
Don't get me wrong, I've been raised to have a pretty strong belief in myself and my abilities, and to like and love myself for the most part, so this was not that sort of break through. And I thought I was already pretty strong mentally and emotionally, especially these past couple of years... with all of the wonderful discoveries I had been making through my Yoga Pixie Adventures. I knew my sense of gratitude for all of the unbelievable blessings in my life was quite strong as well. But suddenly, lying there, 1.5 hours into some intense yoga in a 100 degrees, knowing I still had another hour to go, I felt calm, at peace, in control, yet not in control, and ok with all of that; accepting my glowing presence in the present moment.
I realized that with all I have been through in the past few months, my true self was finally beginning to emerge once again. And surprisingly, it was even a new and improved me! After months of feeling trapped in a "cocoon" of sorts, spending every ounce of energy and strength of my soul to remain calm, patient and steadfast in the task at hand (repairing my health); and after months of feeling I had been standing still and stagnant, unable to breathe...finally I was starting to poke through a tiny hole at the top of that cocoon, and I could breathe again! And what I was breathing in was clean, fresh, brisk, beautiful air. I realized in that moment, that that silly old cliche saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", was true! It didn't kill me, and the fight was one of my greatest life lessons.
I used to think I appreciated every single beautiful day of health that I had been blessed with. I knew that one of my most favorite yoga quotes ever was a motto I lived by: "my body is a temple. Asanas are my prayers." I used exercise, yoga, and eating well as my way of showing thanks for the beautiful, healthy body I had been so blessed with. I wanted to take care of this precious gift. But in that profound moment today, with salty sweat flowing out of my every pore, looking directly into my eyes, at the brink of tears, I saw my new and improved heart and soul for the first time. And I whispered sweetly to it, "you are so beautiful and so strong; so beautiful; so strong. Thank you for taking such good care of me, protecting me, and nourishing me, these very trying past few months. I really love you."
And then, I looked at myself once more and said, "dude!Snap out of it! It's time for floor bow!" :o)
Gratitude: Thank you beautiful, strong, new and improved heart for all that you do for me each day. I look forward to getting to know you much better!
